“What’s in a name? That which we call a Rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Shakespeare wrote these lines about five centuries ago. The essence of this dialogue lies in the fact of equality amongst peers; that an individual’s family recognition and generations of the past are not of any importance as it is what is within that counts. A rose would still have the perfect scent even if the world did call it something else. A name is just a name. Or is it?
I am, of course, talking about the word ‘Grammarian’. Why is it that Lahore never gets to hear the end of being a blue blooded grammarian? Why is it that a Grammarian Girl lives under some kind of spell of acknowledgement that she is better than everyone else? After a lot of consideration, I’ve come to realize that she justtt might be.
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we all love a good Barbie, Fight for your right to look beautiful.
•February 2, 2014 •Leave a Comment
It amuses me how girls feel flattered when someone calls them a Barbie doll. I was “stalking” someone on Facebook and came across her wedding album; her friend had commented “Mashallah, you look beautiful, like a Barbie doll”. She had replied “thank you dear”.
Let’s get into the logic of this comment. A standard Barbie doll is 11.5 inches tall, giving a height of 5 feet 9 inches in human terms. Barbie’s vital statistics as a human would be visibly distorted. She would look deformed and her chest would be “in your face”. Her vital stats would be 36 inches chest, 18 inches waist and 33 inches hips. She would be 5 feet 9 inches tall and weigh 110 lbs. she would have a BMI of 16.24 and would be medically diagnosed an anorexic. She would lack 17% to 22% fat in the body to conceive a baby.
That someone is definitely not “Barbie type beautiful”. She probably doesn’t even know how a human Barbie would look like. She is short, 28-28-28. She doesn’t even know whether Barbie was “created” or “discovered”, but she was a “peroxide” blonde (just like Barbie, so I finally saw some resemblance), but wait , she is now a brunette (there are Caucasian and black Barbies too). I am not friends with her on Facebook, but I know her, call me a snob for not adding her. Beauty means delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration. Barbie has definitely failed to delight my senses. How would a 5”9 anorexic girl with exceptionally large “mammary glands” turn me on? There’s a lot more to the woman’s body apart from “chest piece” (pun intended).
Our standard of “Barbie beauty” is downright crude, insulting and racist. Girls here try to reach the “epitome” of “gora rang and golden (blond) hair”. They try hard to be the next “white chalk powder faced blonde Barbie”. Women are trying to reach a very wrong standard set by the “beauty conscious” of subcontinent. May be beauty is actually a superficial thing and all about achieving the un-achievable. My XYZ friend said that Pakistani women don’t really spend billions on botox and implants like women in the West (is Thailand west too?). They have the right to look beautiful, I agree, but aiming for a Barbie figure, Barbie complexion and Barbie hair is unreasonable. Should we be blaming the “Barbie culture” for this thing? Should it be even considered a compliment? I wouldn’t really like if someone called my daughter a Barbie doll! I’d rather get my daughter a bear paw pastry or Chinese New Year moon cakes than a Barbie doll.
That someone didn’t really make a “gorgeous” bride. I wonder why my brothers who keep condemning everything that starts with AM (America, Amreeka, amreeki drones, amreeki agents, amreeki CIA, amreeki servants, Uncle Sam) don’t really protest against the shameless Barbie? May be they have left it on me! She has a boyfriend, she has a permanent seductive pout, she can be found in a bikini at times, and worst of all, she is dupatta-less with a 36”chest (in human terms). Not really a good symbol of beauty and femininity for womenfolk of Pakistan. There should be a “halal” version of Barbie, something similar to halal Facebook (millat Facebook).
Next time if someone calls you a Barbie doll, say angrily “GAALI kis ko di haan?”
Next time if someone calls you a Barbie doll, say angrily “GAALI kis ko di haan?”
Fight for your right to look beautiful, to be called beautiful.
No one’s child
•January 30, 2014 • Leave a Comment
And I laughed at her for telling me she is now two, one part her and the other you
A weasel has no place and he is what? A Christian Muslim or a Jew?
She blamed me for her own weakness, coward she was not me, an unwed mother she going to be
I broke the shackles and ran away, eloped with my shame, a person she never knew.
A weasel has no place and he is what? A Christian Muslim or a Jew?
She blamed me for her own weakness, coward she was not me, an unwed mother she going to be
I broke the shackles and ran away, eloped with my shame, a person she never knew.
Go away and be on the streets, sell your body, stand in the queue
Your existence is no more, an entity of desire you were…. You always knew
Now go away, don’t look at me, those teary eyes and blank stares
A desire you fulfilled, a dream you must forget, my love for you? Was it really true?
Your existence is no more, an entity of desire you were…. You always knew
Now go away, don’t look at me, those teary eyes and blank stares
A desire you fulfilled, a dream you must forget, my love for you? Was it really true?
Your existence ceased, but your face enchanted my heart, the sky never so bright, never so blue
But, but you failed me, the color drained, the companionship gone, reality we must dip into
The threshold of morality society dictated, we rejected, took the blame
But now I see you crumbling down, falling apart, I am a man, and and what are you?
But, but you failed me, the color drained, the companionship gone, reality we must dip into
The threshold of morality society dictated, we rejected, took the blame
But now I see you crumbling down, falling apart, I am a man, and and what are you?
Hide your shame, fear the world and face the wrath, I forced you out when the cold wind blew
Abandoned you were, weak and exposed, vulnerable, walking on the grass wet with dew.
But you are no more! Reeked of dirt and revenge, filth and lust, disgrace and humiliation.
Your mistake? Unlawful, the verdict? Guilty as charged. You looked powerless and we all rejected you!
Abandoned you were, weak and exposed, vulnerable, walking on the grass wet with dew.
But you are no more! Reeked of dirt and revenge, filth and lust, disgrace and humiliation.
Your mistake? Unlawful, the verdict? Guilty as charged. You looked powerless and we all rejected you!
The bombs we inherited
•January 23, 2014 • Leave a Comment
I always had a dream, to go up, touch the sky and touch the clouds
And what I see around me today, bodies covered in shrouds
A land of the pure, for the pure, Jinnah’s vision, Iqbal’s dream?
All sounds rhetoric, illusions and a talk so hollow, shallow and loud
And what I see around me today, bodies covered in shrouds
A land of the pure, for the pure, Jinnah’s vision, Iqbal’s dream?
All sounds rhetoric, illusions and a talk so hollow, shallow and loud
Never will I leave my land, will serve it and sacrifice, I vowed,
And then they came, spewing venom everywhere, chanting “death to you” aloud
There was no place to hide, escape, I wanted to live and share
But no! Land of the pure smelled of blood, I requested softly, with my head bowed
And then they came, spewing venom everywhere, chanting “death to you” aloud
There was no place to hide, escape, I wanted to live and share
But no! Land of the pure smelled of blood, I requested softly, with my head bowed
Let me go, let us free. Pure we are, said the crowd
They laughed, slaughtered a few more, no mercy on the faces, they were proud
Don’t I deserve a morsel of life? Why do you want to see us dead?
Inferior you are! Kafir you are! Unclean you are, you deserve life? Not allowed!
They laughed, slaughtered a few more, no mercy on the faces, they were proud
Don’t I deserve a morsel of life? Why do you want to see us dead?
Inferior you are! Kafir you are! Unclean you are, you deserve life? Not allowed!
Fear threat and love for this world, call me weak but I cowed
Where to go, where to live, Shunned the land with love I ploughed
Said goodbye, terror behind me, left the land of the pure
But the howling wolves never stopped, their faces wicked and dark browed
Where to go, where to live, Shunned the land with love I ploughed
Said goodbye, terror behind me, left the land of the pure
But the howling wolves never stopped, their faces wicked and dark browed
The dream gone sour, the land of the pure is an orphan, Jinnah’s vision failed
They killed we cried, they butchered we wailed.
Do I have some hope? Yes I do, yes, yes , trust me I do…
Just our innocence was taken away, words dried upon lips and our faces paled
They killed we cried, they butchered we wailed.
Do I have some hope? Yes I do, yes, yes , trust me I do…
Just our innocence was taken away, words dried upon lips and our faces paled
Confessions
•December 17, 2013 • Leave a Comment
Sorry but I had to impress you. I had to put up my best act to make sure you fall for it, compare me to other men you knew and decide that I am the best.
I always felt inferior to you. People around you made me feel vulnerable and insecure. There was an aura of romance and sensuality about you, I was bare. You were beautiful, I wasn’t. You had friends, I had responsibilities. You had money, I had dreams. Can I blame my insecurities for what I did? I felt I had to compete to get you and I decided to cheat. Will you take that as a genuine excuse? I lied to you just to get closer to you, just to understand you better so I could feel your presence and proudly own a piece of your existence.
I needed protection, even from you. I never let my guards down. I had to make sure my intentions remained hidden and you never found out about me. I was always looking for a place where I could breathe freely and could be myself. Sorry but at times even you suffocated me. I wanted to run away, but the sense of owning you always stopped me
I always said I am what I am, but no I wasn’t. I was faking things, telling you tales that never happened, things that never existed and people that never mattered. You were innocent enough to fall for this trap. What started as a lustful game born out of a desperate outlook on life soon turned into a vicious cycle, a cycle that has trapped me inside my own guilt. I feel hollow, empty and alone.
I always said I am what I am, but no I wasn’t. I was faking things, telling you tales that never happened, things that never existed and people that never mattered. You were innocent enough to fall for this trap. What started as a lustful game born out of a desperate outlook on life soon turned into a vicious cycle, a cycle that has trapped me inside my own guilt. I feel hollow, empty and alone.
Have you forgiven me? Do you recall those lovely moments when I filled your heart with hope and mind with dreams. Please don’t call me a fraud, I am not one. I was blinded by the fact that I wanted you. Please call me selfish, but not a fraud. I hope you have not stopped dreaming. I remember looking into your eyes, I saw ambition, aim and desires. That look on your face haunts me to this day. The mere thought of facing you scares me. I am still vulnerable and weak. The person you knew never existed, or may be ceased to exist the day you found out that he was a mere illusion.
Character is defined as the “inherent complex of attributes that determines a person’s moral and ethical actions and reactions”, should you blame my character? No, please let me free, free me of my guilt and my sin. I blame the situation. I met the right person at the wrong time. I left you as I had no choice. I had to move on. I had to end this game and to end it I had to end you.
Sorry but let’s blame the circumstances. You knew how I could manipulate things. Knew the “secrets”. You had to go my dear love, you knew way too much about me. You could have warned people. It would have been scandalous. Never in their wildest dreams could people have imagined me as a fraud, cheat or sinner. I care for you my beautiful love, and the only way to protect you was to silence you. I hope it wasn’t painful.
Oh dear. It hurts recalling those times. You were lying helplessly on the floor. Your hands tied, begging me to set you free. You were trembling and asking me questions. I know you wanted to know why you deserved this. Your crime was that you knew way too much.
Oh dear. It hurts recalling those times. You were lying helplessly on the floor. Your hands tied, begging me to set you free. You were trembling and asking me questions. I know you wanted to know why you deserved this. Your crime was that you knew way too much.
I remember your eyes,they were blank except for a hint of sorrow and fear of death. Now do you understand how it feels to be terrorized? Now do you know how much it hurts to be bound by the shackles of guilt, not being able to move, trapped and finding no escape. You made me live like that way too long. Now it was your turn to pay. I was the master and you were my slave, but you must agree that I made it painless. I was swift and kept things clean and halal. I set you free, free from your misery and my life.
You had choices but you never cared for me. I did. Even after setting you free, I protected you, have kept you hidden from this savage world. You are resting in peace, but here I am living with this guilt that you still haven’t forgiven me. Will you forgive me now that I have set you free? Please.. Please forgive me, I deserve it now, I hope you still dream…..
85 more…. Just a number in Islamic Republic of Pakistan
•September 25, 2013 • Leave a Comment
Death of 85 Christians in suicide bombings is nothing new for Pakistan. First we burnt them alive in Gojra, then we decided to burn down their houses in Joseph colony and now we have decided to silence them forever. Minorities have always faced persecution and oppression in Pakistan. An Islamic republic (no matter how “Islamic”, liberal or secular) can never safeguard the rights of minorities or protect them. Quite a few “righteous” Muslim brothers advocate the need for a true Islamic state but they fail to filter out the blood from Muslim history(Invasions done by Muslim armies)
Non-Muslims are not allowed to erect their places of worship in Saudi Arabia. Kuwait is thinking of putting a ban on all future constructions of non-Muslim places of worship. Why cry and chant “Death to Europe and America” when Hijab is banned and women fined in France and UK? Every day Christians and people belonging to other faiths are being targeted in the Muslim world. A Christian pastor was recently beheaded by the rebels of Free Syrian Army in Syria. They even tied up a Christian girl onto a pole and left a note which stated she must be left there to die. Coptic Christians are regularly targeted in Egypt. Can we name one country in the Muslim world where minorities are treated with respect and given equal rights?
94 Ahamadi worshipers were killed in May 2010 in Lahore,still what matters is demolition of minarets of Ahamadi Mosques. We have failed to protect people who needed us most. We talk of negotiations with terrorist; tell the world that we were pushed into this war and blame CIA and West for our own failings. What isolates Muslim terrorists from other radicals/Terrorists is religion. Thousands have died in the drug fueled violence in South America, Maoist insurgency is a big concern for Indian government. There can be possibilities and many options to deal with violence that is not induced by religion. It is very hard to negotiate with someone who is willing to sacrifice himself in the name of God, someone who only hopes to win the salvation hereafter.
The religious indoctrination is highly effective and it is further strengthened by the belief that a particular religion/faith is superior to others. Salman Taseer’s assassination was celebrated and his murderer was greeted like a rock star by people. It was firm religious superiority complex that made Qardi gun down Taseer. He knew that a religion inspired country would appreciate this act and for masses he would be a saviour of Islam.
A collective representation of religion always harms the society. It makes the minorities feel insecure and vulnerable. They feel like outcasts and can never maximize their potential. The only way to make them productive citizens is to give their religion equal status. State backed or sponsored religiosity has disintegrated societies. People have been killed for religion and because of religion. For many, religion is their most valuable asset as it defines them. But still the question remains how to deal with someone who is willing to get killed in the name of God!
Pakistan..2043
•June 17, 2013 • Leave a Comment
Who still wants to talk and negotiate?
Lal masjid terrorists/militants are shaheeds, TTP is a group of “branded” muslims and LeJ is cleansing Pakistan of filth and dirt.
Let’s leap 30 years into Pakistan’s future .
Ahmed is really upset, Pakistani cricket team lost its matches to Japan, Sudan and Indonesia in the world cup qualifying round. Team Pakistan is out of the tournament and coming back home from Nigeria (where cricket world cup 2043 is being staged)on a dinghy, yes the same dinghy on which Ajmal Kasab sailed to Mumbai. India returned it to Pakistan and Hafiz Saeed suggested to make it the official traveling vessel of Team Pakistan; on a serious note all airports have been bombed and PIA flew the last flight on Aug 17th 2028, Private airlines lost all their planes to deadly crashes. International airlines stopped flying to Pakistan after a passenger forced a UAE based airline’s female cabin crew member to perform belly dance. When she protested and refused, he slapped her, pinched her butt and beheaded her.
Cricketers hope not to be abducted by pirates off the Somalian coast. (Somalia is still the same, the country was contracted out to China a decade ago. They flooded the lawless country with karaoke bars and green tea, so things do not look that promising).
Three words are prohibited in the Islamic Emirates of Pakistan, Shia, Hazara and Ahamadi. A few days ago a mob of hundred men and children lynched a youth for chanting “Ya Ali Madad”. The neighbor informed the Vigilante brigade of Holy Lal masjid that a “napak shia” was heard saying something blasphemous . He was chased, hunted, dragged and finally killed. He was refused a proper burial, his body left to rot in the heat. The last group of Hazaras left Pakistan in 2020. They are running successful businesses in Australia and their kids are getting into some of the best universities. They are working hard and not many are living off the state benefits. Ahamadis were officially told by the Emir of Islamic Emriates that they have no place in the society and they must leave or get killed. Hundreds were butchered, their bullet ridden bodies piled up at street corners for people to see.
Shia Imam bargahs still reek of a mixture of blood and flesh. A gory play was staged in every Shia, Hindu and Christian house. The floors and walls splattered with blood considered too unclean and filthy by the Holy brigade.
Ahmed’s 9 year old daughter is considered old enough to don an abaya. Her innocence is equated with her body and she will be always judged for her flesh. Her young 9 year old soul has been wrapped up in layers of family honor, fear and terror. The vigilante brigade ensure woman are covered and men hairy enough to grow a bushy beard.
Foreigners stopped traveling to this part of the world long ago. Few embassies still function in Islamabad. DPRK (North Korea) embassy staff works long hours and stays busy even on the weekends. It is the only country still issuing visas on green passport within 30 working days.
Mian Mansha was put behind bars after a public trial. His crime: running interest (sood) based banking business. Mr. Hashwani was forced to donate his business to the state. He was given two options by the Emir, get killed or get killed. He is not a “musalman” according to the state and should be killed. His hotels have been turned into suicide jacket manufacturing plants. State of the art machinery was gifted by Emir of Afghanistan and Custodians of the holy land.
Mian Mansha was put behind bars after a public trial. His crime: running interest (sood) based banking business. Mr. Hashwani was forced to donate his business to the state. He was given two options by the Emir, get killed or get killed. He is not a “musalman” according to the state and should be killed. His hotels have been turned into suicide jacket manufacturing plants. State of the art machinery was gifted by Emir of Afghanistan and Custodians of the holy land.
All border crossings with Iran have been shut down and Pakistan no longer recognizes the kaafir state. India fenced its borders with Pakistan a decade ago and ceased all diplomatic ties. Pakistan is the only country left on planet earth with polio. All business schools of the country have been taken over by the vigilante brigade and turned into slaughter houses (for Shias, women in trousers and any Ahamidis still left in the country). Big air conditioned lecture halls and gymnasiums can accommodate large number of people who show up to see the spectacle.
Its 2043, India is sending its own mission to mars, United States has developed the revolutionary pill to cure AIDS and cancer, China owns Somalia and half of Africa. United Nations Head quarters have moved to Brazil, South Africa is celebrating Nelson Mandela’s 126th birthday, Singapore is the world’s financial capital, South korea has the worlds highest GDP growth rate, Custodians of the holy kingdom are running out of oil and Pakistan……………………
Let’s talk and negotiate… yes, lets talk……and negotiate….
Gajar ka halwa
•November 28, 2011 • Leave a comment
These days everyone is talking about NATO airstrike that killed over two dozen pakistani soldiers , i was stuck in traffic for over 2 hours because some youth were protesting against the air strike holding banners and placards. There were burning tyres on the roads. Probably skipping their evening classes or work to participate in the organized protest. A man, some where in his early 30s was holding a placard that said *we are not iraq or afghanistan, we are pakistan. A proud nation, get out america*
Yes we all are angry and upset over this incident. We are taking actions to show that by no means we approve of such a thing. We are protesting and burning tyres and blocking traffic! But the question is who is listening?
This is not for the first time that american or NATO troops have violated our air space and killed our soldiers. Dozens of pakistani soldeirs have died in friendly fires. Scores have lost their lives due to a humble mistake . They apologize and we forgive them. Its not something new!
We need to learn how to protest!Americans arent suffering when youth here block the road. They are sitting in the comforts of their drawing rooms watching dengue infested youth of lahore sweating ,Yelling and burning tyres on the road, or they arent even watching because they dont really care. Lets face the fact that we only waste our resources , our time and our productive capacity by protesting this way!
Opportunity cost of protesting this way is really high in pakistan, i am not saying that we shouldnt protest, no! We must protest, but we need to ensure that they feel it! They notice it! They start respecting us! We have turned into one mc donalds republic of pakistan! If we really want to protest then we must bycott all american imports for some time. Yes lets learn to live without apples and twilights for a while. Lets show them that their stuff is not welcomed if they keep killing our men. We have sufficient trading partners . We dont really need them. Show them that we are angry! Burning tyres on the road is doing no good! Probabaly we are making polluted pakistan more polluted ! Stop going to their universities . Stop watching their movies. Stop downloading their songs.
Alot of my friends living outside pakistan were quick to update their statuses on facebook urging people to come out and protest! My these friends can benefit pakistan most by coming back and giving up their red and blue passports for a green passport ! If you claim to love your motherland then come back and help your brothers in protecting it! Otherwise just stop chanting because you have already sold your loyalties to a monarch or An african american president! Its easy asking them to protest. But they should also keep in mind the opportunity cost associated with it.
Emotions and anger would take us no where! Americans want us, but we need them! We need them for better education, for military needs, for a better life, for their passports and the american dream! For uncle sam we are this hungry, flooded, over populated, uneducated poor nation! Lets show him that despite of all this, we have respect! Its an eye for an eye ! Lets Show him that we are not a mc donalds nation! Enough of manipulation!
We can learn alot from arab spring! Do we really need leaders who have sold their loyalties to other countires . Lets tell them that thankyou we dont need you! You all have the courage and the capacity to stand up and protest in a sensible way. Protest . You can tell uncle sam that we dont really need mc donalds! We can survive on gajar ka halwa and doodhpatti
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